On Leadership, Patience and Right Timing

Had a good conversation with a mentee last week and it felt very nostalgic, in a way that I saw myself years ago in this person. Don't get me wrong, I am all ears to rants, complaints, frustrations when it comes to work-- but over the years of learning, undergoing painful and happy experiences, I eventually took responsibility to come up with steps to overcome these.

Years ago, I could remember, bearing a heavy luggage of questions on "when will promotion be granted?"  or "I've done this much and much, but when do they notice?" I became restless and tried to do everything that I THOUGHT I could do, instead of assessing what I SHOULD be doing to make it more effective and efficient. Mentors coached me about the perfect timing and how time can further develop me in my chosen field. I can remember how frustrated I was as the young man in front of me last week.

When Paulo Coelho wrote, “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” - he didn't mean that whenever you wanted it, it will happen IMMEDIATELY.

Looking back over the years, there were a few tips that I shared to my mentee and hopefully via this blog,  share to a wider community on how Patience and the Right Timing mattered.  Here are  some of the tips on the top of my head (take note, I'm no guru, I'm still learning...just thinking out loud!)

1) There's a reason for everything.  You know when you wanted something so bad that sometimes you're too blinded to see all the obstacles on your way and try to do anything you can to get it; and end up feeling defeated because you can't? It's the same logic that applies here. No matter how good you think you are, but not open to feedback that can actually help you, you are only looking at one side of the spectrum. You might have areas of development that you haven't seen yet but visible to your leaders, mentors or coaches.  You are being prepared for something bigger than what you do now - that's why it's very valuable to have a balanced view of what you currently have and what you want to be. 

2) Humility is key. When we emerge from being individual contributors to being team managers or leaders, it is inherent that you have the same expectations on your team members-- that they can do what YOU can DO. But when they fail your expectations, there is something inside you that tells you're a cut above the rest. That's true, but your role now demands that you coach and guide these people to develop their skills further and hopefully achieve what you've achieved. Being humble enough to make them fe  el you once went through what they are currently going through will make a difference on both sides. Besides, humility is free of charge. :) 

3) Never bear a grudge. No matter how hurtful things are being said about you, it only becomes heavier when you bear a grudge on the people who throw it at you. Listen and take notes- why did they say it? Is it an indication of how they see you? Agree that it hurts, but they are entitled to their own opinion, and you cannot influence how they want to say it. It's the uncontrollable factor that you must gear away from- instead, focus on what you can do to develop, learn, and make yourself stronger. You'll need it especially if you want to climb up that corporate ladder! You never know who you meet up there. 

4) Always try to see the good in every bad situation. Sometimes, we tend to focus on the negative because it's so easy to wallow in it. It feels very inviting to think of all the bad vibes about it, create and recreate more negative scenarios in your head. It's really hard to get out of it, I tell you, but look at what good  can it do to you? If you're blindsided about when your desired outcome would happen, know that there's always good things coming out of this experience. That you are blessed with these experiences to make you a better leader. That you are already being developed in ways that you might not understand right now, but would prove really helpful when you get into a higher level. 

5) Roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty too. Being a leader, there are situations that will call for your undivided attention. Lead by doing- this way, your team would see you are one with them in understanding the difficulties of the task, that you can guide them through the issues they face and that what they do are visible to your eyes.  Yes, you may have earned your title as a leader, but it doesn't mean you are exempted from understanding the tasks at hand. It's actually seeing your team in action that can help you apply leadership in the different moments of truth that all of you will encounter. 

6) Know what you really want in life. What I learned over the years, it's not just the short term goals that mattered. When you get promoted to the next level, it's another phase of wondering when you will get to the next and the next...etc. But is it what you really wanted? An endless cycle of wanting and focusing on the wrong goals? My only take on this is- write down your 3 year, 5 year and 10 year goals. Drill down or make a why why analysis - just to be clear why you wanted it. Oftentimes we tend to want things that may be a step or a consequence to the real goal but we just haven't articulated it or thought about it enough. Sometimes, it will surprise you what your ultimate goal in life really is. 

7) Always make it a point to improve yourself.  Change is not the easiest thing to deal with, especially if you feel your working habits have been effective for the past decade. However, things around you are constantly evolving. You always need to level-up your skill sets and make sure you do your part in preparing yourself for the next level. Find workshops or certifications or training that can boost your current skills or build a new one. You will never regret it.

8) Learn to respect differences within the team.  Your team members are composed of different personalities, characters, have different ways of responding to issues; or maybe different when it comes to understanding. Get to know your team members. It never hurts to do so. Oftentimes, it is your gauge to which tasks will bring out the best in each member of your team. Take note, that sometimes, you have to go through a trial and error stage as well, since it takes time to know each person's strengths and development areas. 

9) Pay it forward. I know most of you have watched the film and why do I link it to leadership? From my mentors to the senior leaders I've met, one of the consistent tips was around giving back to the new leaders what they've learned over the years. In my 14 years of corporate life, I have met a lot of inspirational people who were never selfish in helping colleagues, mentees. They impart a legacy that they have also inherited from previous leaders. This, I believe, is because they are grateful for everything that they have achieved and like planting a tree, they nourish the new leaders with all the "nutrients" they have to continue on that legacy. 

10) Work is not the entirety of your life. Always balance out personal and work related events - you will ALWAYS need to recharge and get back in the groove to avoid burning yourself out. I learned to apply this 3 years ago and it was definitely a lighter load I carry on my back ever since. It's always a choice, but a good one when you decide to take it. Work is not everything; there are far more important things in life than this. 

So, there you go... again I'm not an expert but having a conversation around this made me feel happy about the transformation I've undergone through the years. I know I'm still a work in progress; and looking forward to more learnings as I walk along this corporate journey.